Saturday, October 4, 2008

Family Care:

Renewed Bed-wetting by OFW Child
Left in the Philippines

Question: Mar (Korea), September 23, 2008

I am an english teacher who has just left the Philippines to teach in Korea. I have a daughter who is almost 4 years old. According to my mother, she is bed wetting again. She is already toilet trained and hasn't wet her bed in a long time, but my mother says she's doing this very often now. What can my mother do to stop her from doing this?

Hi Mar,

The first thing I would recommend is to ask your mother to bring your daughter to a pediatrician in order to rule out a physical cause of this problem. If the pediatrician doesn't find anything, then it could be that your child may be bed wetting as a reaction to your absence. She may be feeling anxious and sad but is unable to express these feelings. Your mother can first of all not show annoyance or anger about the bed-wetting. She can help your daughter learn to cope with your absence by encouraging her to talk about how she is feeling, assuring her that feeling sad, anxious and angry that you are not around is ok. For your part, it would be very helpful also if you can skype or talk to her everyday on the telephone, showing her that even if you are far away, you are still part of her everday life. A good time to do this would be before she goes to bed at night.

Your mother can also make sure that she does not drink too much before sleeping. If she drinks milk before going to bed, maybe this can be given to her a bit earlier. Your mother can also make her go to the bathroom before she goes to bed everynight.

Regina D. Goon
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