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Family Care:
How to Satisfy my Wife
Question: Jake, (South Korea) April 10, 2009
Gud am po. Ask ko lng po sana kong anu aking gagawin para hindi mabibitin ang mrs.ko sa tuwing kami ay magtalik? Kc palagi siyang nabibitin kalagitnaan pa lang tapos na ako, kaya po lagi siyang galit. Anu po ba ang dapat kong gawin doc? Tnx po.
------------------------
Answer:
Hi Jake,
Kung palagi kang nauuna sa asawa mo, at parang nabibitin siya, siguro kailangang mong i-slow down ang action. Mas matagal para sa mga babae na maging ready for sex. Kailangan alagaan hindi lang ang katawan ng babae, nguni't yung mga emotions niya rin. Malaki ang connection ng emotions ng babae sa pagiging ready niya for sex. Kaya importante ang "romansa" at ang pagkakarinyo. Ika nga, kailangan "in the mood" siya. So even before the act itself, kailangnan mo nang i-set ang stage. Maybe a candle light dinner or watching a romantic movie together, etc. Once you get her "emotionally" involved then you need to prepare her physically. Dito kailangan ang "foreplay" parang mapukaw ang kanyang katawan. Siguro kailangan mo rin siyang tanungin kung ready na siya.
Salamat sa iyong tanong,
Regina Diaz Goon
Psychologist
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
Editor's Note: Please click here and see the Note in the prior Mailbox question.
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and suggestions on Jake's situation by clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Monday, April 13, 2009
Preparing for Sex, Ensuring Orgasm and Getting Wife Pregnant
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Medical Care:
Anong Paraan parang mabuntis agad ang asawa?
Question: Jake, (South Korea) April 10, 2009
Gud day po, doc ask ko lng sana sa anong paraan po madaling mabuntis ang asawa ko? Kc pauwi na ako nxt month at gusto ko mabuntis ang asawa ko bago ako babalik, at paano gagawin ang lalaki? On the other hand, ask ko lng po sana kc may problema ako sa sex naming mag asawa, ganito po yun doc, sa tuwing magsex kami lagi siyang nabibitin at kc lagi akong mauuna sa kanya nasa kalagitnaan pa sya at ako tapos na, kaya lagi syang magagalit sa akin. Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin para magkasabay kami at hindi na sya mabibitin? Advice lng po sana doc,,tnx po. GODBLESS....
--------------------------
Answer
Dear Jake,
There are several steps that you can take to maximize your chances of pregnancy, pero dapat makasigurado kayong dalawa na healthy kayo. Magpa check up na kayo ngayon para ready na kayo pag-uwi mo in one month's time. Ang mga sumusunod ay mga "pointers" na maaari ninyong sundin:
1. Eat healthy foods and get adequate amounts of zinc (from lean meat, eggs, seafood, whole grains), calcium (from milk and green leafy vegetables), and vitamin D (from sunlight).
2. Avoid alcohol and nicotine, and limit the intake of caffeine.
3. Identify your fertile period. You can use the "Ovulation calculator", available online, or commercially available ovulation kits. Sexual intercourse should occur everyday or every other day during the fertile period. Some studies show that the missionary position is still most likely to lead to pregnancy, and ensuring your wife's orgasm further increases the chances, since the contractions may carry sperm further into the cervix. Avoid using lubricants or jellies, as these may damage or kill sperm.
4. Prenatal vitamins may be recommended by your wife's obstetrician even before conception. Folic acid supplements once daily may be helpful.
5. Relax, enjoy the sex with your Mrs. and don't stress yourselves out. Pregnancy may not happen immediately, and the stress builds up, especially if you set a deadline for yourselves.
As for the second part of your question. Yung lagi kang nauuna sa Mrs. mo, ito ba ay dahil sa hindi mo nasu sustain ang iyong erection? Kung wala ka namang problemang magsustain ng erection mo, try to take Zoloft , 50 mg once a day at bedtime for 1 week and see how that works.
Thank you for your question,
Priscilla Sanchez, M.D.
Medical Coordinator
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
Editor's Note: Jake, you may want to lengthen the foreplay before intercourse. A woman can climax several times, while a man only once or twice. So, enjoy being with your wife again, and exploring each other. Give her all the time and attention and bring her to her full enjoyment at least once, before you enter and help her and yourself to climax again together. Good luck! Have an enjoyable home leave next month!
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and suggestions on Jake's questions by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Medical Care:
Anong Paraan parang mabuntis agad ang asawa?
Question: Jake, (South Korea) April 10, 2009
Gud day po, doc ask ko lng sana sa anong paraan po madaling mabuntis ang asawa ko? Kc pauwi na ako nxt month at gusto ko mabuntis ang asawa ko bago ako babalik, at paano gagawin ang lalaki? On the other hand, ask ko lng po sana kc may problema ako sa sex naming mag asawa, ganito po yun doc, sa tuwing magsex kami lagi siyang nabibitin at kc lagi akong mauuna sa kanya nasa kalagitnaan pa sya at ako tapos na, kaya lagi syang magagalit sa akin. Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin para magkasabay kami at hindi na sya mabibitin? Advice lng po sana doc,,tnx po. GODBLESS....
--------------------------
Answer
Dear Jake,
There are several steps that you can take to maximize your chances of pregnancy, pero dapat makasigurado kayong dalawa na healthy kayo. Magpa check up na kayo ngayon para ready na kayo pag-uwi mo in one month's time. Ang mga sumusunod ay mga "pointers" na maaari ninyong sundin:
1. Eat healthy foods and get adequate amounts of zinc (from lean meat, eggs, seafood, whole grains), calcium (from milk and green leafy vegetables), and vitamin D (from sunlight).
2. Avoid alcohol and nicotine, and limit the intake of caffeine.
3. Identify your fertile period. You can use the "Ovulation calculator", available online, or commercially available ovulation kits. Sexual intercourse should occur everyday or every other day during the fertile period. Some studies show that the missionary position is still most likely to lead to pregnancy, and ensuring your wife's orgasm further increases the chances, since the contractions may carry sperm further into the cervix. Avoid using lubricants or jellies, as these may damage or kill sperm.
4. Prenatal vitamins may be recommended by your wife's obstetrician even before conception. Folic acid supplements once daily may be helpful.
5. Relax, enjoy the sex with your Mrs. and don't stress yourselves out. Pregnancy may not happen immediately, and the stress builds up, especially if you set a deadline for yourselves.
As for the second part of your question. Yung lagi kang nauuna sa Mrs. mo, ito ba ay dahil sa hindi mo nasu sustain ang iyong erection? Kung wala ka namang problemang magsustain ng erection mo, try to take Zoloft , 50 mg once a day at bedtime for 1 week and see how that works.
Thank you for your question,
Priscilla Sanchez, M.D.
Medical Coordinator
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
Editor's Note: Jake, you may want to lengthen the foreplay before intercourse. A woman can climax several times, while a man only once or twice. So, enjoy being with your wife again, and exploring each other. Give her all the time and attention and bring her to her full enjoyment at least once, before you enter and help her and yourself to climax again together. Good luck! Have an enjoyable home leave next month!
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and suggestions on Jake's questions by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Cannot Breathe After Every Meal
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Medical Care:
Breathing Problems
Question: Cathy, (Singapore) April 9, 2009
Good Afternoon.
I'd like to ask in behalf of my boyfriend, we're both working here in Singapore. My boyfriend had gone through different doctors here regarding his problem with breathing since May last year, until now he's still having the same problem and it seems like the doctors who attended to him cannot figure out what's wrong. Mahirap po kasi ipaliwanang yung nararamdaman nya sa mga local doctors dito and we're not sure if it is asthma or something else. He was given medicine pero parang hindi naman po siya gumagaling. So we're worried na baka iba na po yung nararamdaman nya.
He's been having a hard time catching his breath every after meal or even just eating a piece of bread. It has been constant for the past few months.
I've searched online and read about breathing disorders and found vocal cord dysfunction, I'm not sure if its related to what he's feeling right now. Any advise?
Appreciate your help.
Thank you very much.
-------------------------
Answer:
Hi Cathy,
If his breathing problem is related to eating, he may have a problem with his esophagus. The esophagus is the tube where food passes to get to the stomach. Some conditions like achalasia make swallowing so difficult and because the esophagus enlarges, breathing is affected. Another cause may be a hiatal hernia when a part of the stomach is displaced up into the chest making the patient feel the symptoms of reflux and difficulty of breathing. A more serious problem may be esophageal cancer where swallowing problems are very prominent although difficulty of breathing may not be very prominent in this disease.
My suggestion is to do an uppper g.i. endoscopy or a barium swallow to rule out these problems.
Thank you for your question,
Priscilla Sanchez
Medical Coordinator
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Follow-Up Note from Cathy: (April 15, 2009)
Hi Priscilla,
Good day.
Thank you for the information, it is very helpful. We really appreciate it :)
I'm so glad to have chanced upon the ofwparasapamilya website, it feels good to know that you and your team are there to help us and our kababayans all around the globe.
More power to you all!
Many Thanks,
Cathy
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on Cathy's inquiry by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Medical Care:
Breathing Problems
Question: Cathy, (Singapore) April 9, 2009
Good Afternoon.
I'd like to ask in behalf of my boyfriend, we're both working here in Singapore. My boyfriend had gone through different doctors here regarding his problem with breathing since May last year, until now he's still having the same problem and it seems like the doctors who attended to him cannot figure out what's wrong. Mahirap po kasi ipaliwanang yung nararamdaman nya sa mga local doctors dito and we're not sure if it is asthma or something else. He was given medicine pero parang hindi naman po siya gumagaling. So we're worried na baka iba na po yung nararamdaman nya.
He's been having a hard time catching his breath every after meal or even just eating a piece of bread. It has been constant for the past few months.
I've searched online and read about breathing disorders and found vocal cord dysfunction, I'm not sure if its related to what he's feeling right now. Any advise?
Appreciate your help.
Thank you very much.
-------------------------
Answer:
Hi Cathy,
If his breathing problem is related to eating, he may have a problem with his esophagus. The esophagus is the tube where food passes to get to the stomach. Some conditions like achalasia make swallowing so difficult and because the esophagus enlarges, breathing is affected. Another cause may be a hiatal hernia when a part of the stomach is displaced up into the chest making the patient feel the symptoms of reflux and difficulty of breathing. A more serious problem may be esophageal cancer where swallowing problems are very prominent although difficulty of breathing may not be very prominent in this disease.
My suggestion is to do an uppper g.i. endoscopy or a barium swallow to rule out these problems.
Thank you for your question,
Priscilla Sanchez
Medical Coordinator
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Follow-Up Note from Cathy: (April 15, 2009)
Hi Priscilla,
Good day.
Thank you for the information, it is very helpful. We really appreciate it :)
I'm so glad to have chanced upon the ofwparasapamilya website, it feels good to know that you and your team are there to help us and our kababayans all around the globe.
More power to you all!
Many Thanks,
Cathy
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on Cathy's inquiry by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Secretly Helping Parents Financially Without Telling Spouse
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Family Care:
Keeping Secrets
Linilihim ang Pagbigay ng tulong Pinansyal sa Magulang
Question: Edward (South Korea) April 11, 2009
Mabuhay po kayo, nais ko po humingi ng inyong opinyon o payo hingil sa problemang magasawa. Ito po tungkol sa pinansyal na tulong na palihim kong pinaaabot through atm sa aking parents. Nais ng aking asawa na ako'y maging open sa kanya all the time. Many times na nahuli ako ng asawa ko na palihim na nagpapadala ng pera sa aking parents na kanyang ikinagagalit at ngayon ay nauwi na sa matinding pagtatalo naming dalawa. Mahirap lang aking mga parents, walang pirme na job ang aking ama at ang aking ina ay wala rin work, pinag aaral ko nman ang aking kapatid sa kolehiyo. Doc, nagagawa ko ilihim ang tulong dahilan sa maraming beses na akong nagbigay ng tulong sa parents ko through my wife, syempre nakakaramdam sila ng hiya tuwing ako ay magpapaabot ng pinansyal na tulong. Nais ko maging open sa asawa ko kaya last night nag confess ako na nagbigay ako last week ng pera sa parents ko na kanyang ikinagalit dahil naglilihim daw ako sa kanya. Pakiramdam daw nya ay nagmumukhang tanga raw sya sa ginagawang palihim na tulong ko sa parents ko. Doc, hindi naman madamot wife ko, gusto nya lang open ako all the time. Hanggang ngayon di pa rin kami nag kakasundo ng wife ko. Sana po ay matulungan nyo ako.
Salamat po and God Bless
------------------------
Answer:
Hello Edward,
Ang pagbibigay mong tulong sa iyong magulang ay kaakit-akit. Sa tinig ng sulat mo, ang pinagtatalo ninyong mag-asawa ay hindi yung pag-bigay tulong sa iyong magulang, nguni't yung hindi mo pinapaalam sa kanya na ikaw ay tumutulong sa iyong magulang. Ikaw rin ang nagsabi Edward, na hindi madamot ang asawa mo, so bakit hindi mo maisabi sa kanya ng derecho na ikaw ay tumutulong sa magulang mo? Baka naman nasasaktan lang siya na wala kang tiwala sa kanya kaya nagtatago ka. Para sa mga magulang mo, maaring nahihiya rin sila sapagka't ang pagbigay mo nang tulong sa kanila ay ang nagiging sanhi ng pagtatalo ninyong mag-asawa.
Siguro kailangang pag-usapan ninyong mag-asawa ang situasyon na ito. Isabi mo sa asawa mo na gusto mong matulungan ang mga magulang mo, at itanong mo sa kanya kung ano ang isip niya dito. Pag nagusap kayo ng masinsinan, maaring malalaman mo ang tunay na nasa isip ng asawa mo. Ipahatid mo rin sa kanya na importante sa iyo ang matulungan mo ang iyong magulang. Maari mo ring itanong sa kanya kung magkano sa palagay niya ang pwede ninyong ibigay sa magulang mo. Maari rin ninyong desisyonan kung kailan ninyo bibigyan ng tulong, for example kung monthly o every other month etc. Sa ganitong paraan ang pagbigay ng tulong ay "joint decision" ninyong dalawa.
Maari ring magtanong ka sa sarili, Edward, kung ito lang ang "issue" na itinatago mo sa iyong asawa. Baka nararamdaman niyang may iba kang linilihim. Siguro kailangang maging mas bukas ka sa kanya. Communicating with each other in a more open accepting way may help both of you resolve more of your problems.
Salamat sa iyong tanong,
Regina Diaz Goon
Psychologist
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Follow Up Note from Edward: (April 13, 2009)
Tunay nga po doktora ang inyong mga sinabi, nawa'y maging maayos at mabigyan linaw sa susunod na paguusap naming magasawa sa tulong ng ibinigay po ninyong mga idea. I believed na ang di pagkakaunawaan ay masosolusyunan ng maayos na usapan.
Salamat po sa inyong tugon.
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on Edward's situation by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Family Care:
Keeping Secrets
Linilihim ang Pagbigay ng tulong Pinansyal sa Magulang
Question: Edward (South Korea) April 11, 2009
Mabuhay po kayo, nais ko po humingi ng inyong opinyon o payo hingil sa problemang magasawa. Ito po tungkol sa pinansyal na tulong na palihim kong pinaaabot through atm sa aking parents. Nais ng aking asawa na ako'y maging open sa kanya all the time. Many times na nahuli ako ng asawa ko na palihim na nagpapadala ng pera sa aking parents na kanyang ikinagagalit at ngayon ay nauwi na sa matinding pagtatalo naming dalawa. Mahirap lang aking mga parents, walang pirme na job ang aking ama at ang aking ina ay wala rin work, pinag aaral ko nman ang aking kapatid sa kolehiyo. Doc, nagagawa ko ilihim ang tulong dahilan sa maraming beses na akong nagbigay ng tulong sa parents ko through my wife, syempre nakakaramdam sila ng hiya tuwing ako ay magpapaabot ng pinansyal na tulong. Nais ko maging open sa asawa ko kaya last night nag confess ako na nagbigay ako last week ng pera sa parents ko na kanyang ikinagalit dahil naglilihim daw ako sa kanya. Pakiramdam daw nya ay nagmumukhang tanga raw sya sa ginagawang palihim na tulong ko sa parents ko. Doc, hindi naman madamot wife ko, gusto nya lang open ako all the time. Hanggang ngayon di pa rin kami nag kakasundo ng wife ko. Sana po ay matulungan nyo ako.
Salamat po and God Bless
------------------------
Answer:
Hello Edward,
Ang pagbibigay mong tulong sa iyong magulang ay kaakit-akit. Sa tinig ng sulat mo, ang pinagtatalo ninyong mag-asawa ay hindi yung pag-bigay tulong sa iyong magulang, nguni't yung hindi mo pinapaalam sa kanya na ikaw ay tumutulong sa iyong magulang. Ikaw rin ang nagsabi Edward, na hindi madamot ang asawa mo, so bakit hindi mo maisabi sa kanya ng derecho na ikaw ay tumutulong sa magulang mo? Baka naman nasasaktan lang siya na wala kang tiwala sa kanya kaya nagtatago ka. Para sa mga magulang mo, maaring nahihiya rin sila sapagka't ang pagbigay mo nang tulong sa kanila ay ang nagiging sanhi ng pagtatalo ninyong mag-asawa.
Siguro kailangang pag-usapan ninyong mag-asawa ang situasyon na ito. Isabi mo sa asawa mo na gusto mong matulungan ang mga magulang mo, at itanong mo sa kanya kung ano ang isip niya dito. Pag nagusap kayo ng masinsinan, maaring malalaman mo ang tunay na nasa isip ng asawa mo. Ipahatid mo rin sa kanya na importante sa iyo ang matulungan mo ang iyong magulang. Maari mo ring itanong sa kanya kung magkano sa palagay niya ang pwede ninyong ibigay sa magulang mo. Maari rin ninyong desisyonan kung kailan ninyo bibigyan ng tulong, for example kung monthly o every other month etc. Sa ganitong paraan ang pagbigay ng tulong ay "joint decision" ninyong dalawa.
Maari ring magtanong ka sa sarili, Edward, kung ito lang ang "issue" na itinatago mo sa iyong asawa. Baka nararamdaman niyang may iba kang linilihim. Siguro kailangang maging mas bukas ka sa kanya. Communicating with each other in a more open accepting way may help both of you resolve more of your problems.
Salamat sa iyong tanong,
Regina Diaz Goon
Psychologist
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Follow Up Note from Edward: (April 13, 2009)
Tunay nga po doktora ang inyong mga sinabi, nawa'y maging maayos at mabigyan linaw sa susunod na paguusap naming magasawa sa tulong ng ibinigay po ninyong mga idea. I believed na ang di pagkakaunawaan ay masosolusyunan ng maayos na usapan.
Salamat po sa inyong tugon.
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on Edward's situation by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Friday, April 10, 2009
Emotional Abuse
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Family Care:
Minamaliit at parang bina-baliwalang halaga
Question: Sheryll (Philippines) April 8, 2009
Di ko po alam kung normal lang ang aking nararamdaman. Feeling ko po kc hindi ako na- aappreciate ng mister ko. Para po kc minamaliit nya ang kakayahan ko, never po nya ako pinuri kahit na maalaga ako sa anak, asawa at bahay. Matino po akong babae at galing sa kilalang pamilya. Matanda po cya sakin ng 10yrs, naiisip ko po tuloy na hindi ako importante o care taker lang ako dito. Lagi idea nya ang magaling, ako mali ang sabi nya. Ang pakiramdam ko tuloy neglected ako o kulang lang sa pansin. Thanks po.
-----------------
Answer:
Dear Sheryll,
Ang nararamdaman mong hindi ka importante, o parang caretaker ka lang ay hindi dahil sa ikaw ay “kulang sa pansin”. Maaring ikaw ay biktima ng ibang klaseng pag-aabuso. Itong pang-aabusong ito ay tinatawag na emotional abuse. Marami sa nakaranas ng pang-aabusong emotional ay nagkakaroon ng mga feelings na katulad ng nadarama mo. Maraming nakakaalam ng pang-aabusong physical sapagka’t ito ay pinaguusapan ng marami at binibigyan pansin ng media, sa television, sa radio at sa newspapers. Itong pang-aabusong ito ay madali ring makita sapagka’t may mga physical signs katulad ng black eye o pasa-pasang katawan. Ang emotional abuse naman ay walang mga physical signs na naiiwan, nguni’t ang resulta nito ay kasing-sama ng pang-aabusong physical.
Ang pang-aabusong emotional ay parang “brain washing” na ang target ay ang self-esteem ng inaabuso. Emotional abuse causes a person to loose self-confidence, it destroys one’s sense of worth and it also causes one to distrust her own perceptions and self-concept. At kung hindi ito intindihin o hintuin, and inaabuso ay maaring dumating sa situasyon na sa kanilang pagtingin sa sarili ay wala silang kuwenta at walang halaga. Sa kalagayang ito maari ring isipin na siya ang dapat sisihin sa pag-aabuso, because she “deserves” it.
For your information, parang maka-decision ka kung ito nga ay nangyayari sa iyo, here are some of the warning signs of emotional abuse:
1) Abusive expectations: Nararamdaman mo na napakataas ng expectations sa iyo, at parang laging hindi sapat ang iyong ginagawa. And on top of this he is always criticizing you.
2) Verbal Assaults: Lagi kang parang tinuturuan, lahat ng gawa mo ay hindi tama at ang dating ay laging, “I know best”. He may also call you names like “stupid” etc. minamaliit ka, constantly finds fault with you and may make fun of you in private or in front of his friends and family.
3) Dominating: Hindi ka pinapayagang magkaroon ng iyong sariling opinion or viewpoint, dapat mong sundin yung isip niya. Dapat laging masunod yung gusto niya. He may even deny your perceptions and memory.
4) Emotional blackmail: Plays on your fears, guilt or other “buttons” in order to control you or get what he wants. Other ways he may use to control you is by either threatening to end the relationship or abandon you or by withdrawing into a sullen silence.
Sheryll, sinabi mo na ang asawa mo ay 10 years older than you. Siya ba ay foreigner? Paano ba ang trato ng father-in-law mo sa kanyang sariling asawa? Tinatanong ko ito sapagka’t ang kinalakihan at kinasanayang ugali ay mayroon ring “influence” sa behavior nang isang lalaki sa kanyang asawa.
Kung ang iyong nararamdaman ay hindi mo gusto, kailangang mong alagaan ang sarili mo. Humanap ka ng makakatulong sa iyo. Kung mayroon kayong mapuntahang psychologist, maari ninyong pasukan ang couples counseling.
However, you also need to know that the situation can deteriorate and physical abuse may become part of the pattern of his behavior towards you. Keeping this in mind, find a way to protect yourself and your children.
Salamat sa iyong tanong,
Regina Diaz Goon
Psychologist
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on Sheryll's situation by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Family Care:
Minamaliit at parang bina-baliwalang halaga
Question: Sheryll (Philippines) April 8, 2009
Di ko po alam kung normal lang ang aking nararamdaman. Feeling ko po kc hindi ako na- aappreciate ng mister ko. Para po kc minamaliit nya ang kakayahan ko, never po nya ako pinuri kahit na maalaga ako sa anak, asawa at bahay. Matino po akong babae at galing sa kilalang pamilya. Matanda po cya sakin ng 10yrs, naiisip ko po tuloy na hindi ako importante o care taker lang ako dito. Lagi idea nya ang magaling, ako mali ang sabi nya. Ang pakiramdam ko tuloy neglected ako o kulang lang sa pansin. Thanks po.
-----------------
Answer:
Dear Sheryll,
Ang nararamdaman mong hindi ka importante, o parang caretaker ka lang ay hindi dahil sa ikaw ay “kulang sa pansin”. Maaring ikaw ay biktima ng ibang klaseng pag-aabuso. Itong pang-aabusong ito ay tinatawag na emotional abuse. Marami sa nakaranas ng pang-aabusong emotional ay nagkakaroon ng mga feelings na katulad ng nadarama mo. Maraming nakakaalam ng pang-aabusong physical sapagka’t ito ay pinaguusapan ng marami at binibigyan pansin ng media, sa television, sa radio at sa newspapers. Itong pang-aabusong ito ay madali ring makita sapagka’t may mga physical signs katulad ng black eye o pasa-pasang katawan. Ang emotional abuse naman ay walang mga physical signs na naiiwan, nguni’t ang resulta nito ay kasing-sama ng pang-aabusong physical.
Ang pang-aabusong emotional ay parang “brain washing” na ang target ay ang self-esteem ng inaabuso. Emotional abuse causes a person to loose self-confidence, it destroys one’s sense of worth and it also causes one to distrust her own perceptions and self-concept. At kung hindi ito intindihin o hintuin, and inaabuso ay maaring dumating sa situasyon na sa kanilang pagtingin sa sarili ay wala silang kuwenta at walang halaga. Sa kalagayang ito maari ring isipin na siya ang dapat sisihin sa pag-aabuso, because she “deserves” it.
For your information, parang maka-decision ka kung ito nga ay nangyayari sa iyo, here are some of the warning signs of emotional abuse:
1) Abusive expectations: Nararamdaman mo na napakataas ng expectations sa iyo, at parang laging hindi sapat ang iyong ginagawa. And on top of this he is always criticizing you.
2) Verbal Assaults: Lagi kang parang tinuturuan, lahat ng gawa mo ay hindi tama at ang dating ay laging, “I know best”. He may also call you names like “stupid” etc. minamaliit ka, constantly finds fault with you and may make fun of you in private or in front of his friends and family.
3) Dominating: Hindi ka pinapayagang magkaroon ng iyong sariling opinion or viewpoint, dapat mong sundin yung isip niya. Dapat laging masunod yung gusto niya. He may even deny your perceptions and memory.
4) Emotional blackmail: Plays on your fears, guilt or other “buttons” in order to control you or get what he wants. Other ways he may use to control you is by either threatening to end the relationship or abandon you or by withdrawing into a sullen silence.
Sheryll, sinabi mo na ang asawa mo ay 10 years older than you. Siya ba ay foreigner? Paano ba ang trato ng father-in-law mo sa kanyang sariling asawa? Tinatanong ko ito sapagka’t ang kinalakihan at kinasanayang ugali ay mayroon ring “influence” sa behavior nang isang lalaki sa kanyang asawa.
Kung ang iyong nararamdaman ay hindi mo gusto, kailangang mong alagaan ang sarili mo. Humanap ka ng makakatulong sa iyo. Kung mayroon kayong mapuntahang psychologist, maari ninyong pasukan ang couples counseling.
However, you also need to know that the situation can deteriorate and physical abuse may become part of the pattern of his behavior towards you. Keeping this in mind, find a way to protect yourself and your children.
Salamat sa iyong tanong,
Regina Diaz Goon
Psychologist
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
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Thursday, April 9, 2009
Recurring Urinary Tract Infection
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Medical Care:
Ang Pagtatalik ba ang Dahilan ng Infection na Ito?
Question: Sandra, (Manila) April 8, 2009
This is Sandra. I have pseudomonas in my urine 1 month ago; i need to do again my sensitivity test but i dont have money to support. My lung is in infection, the doctor said, also my e.c.g. is abnormal (with) primary t-wave abnormality, abnormal qrs-t angle. Considering primary t wave abnormality, I got pain in my chest sometimes (when it) appears.
Before I have CITROBACTER 105,000 CFU/ML sensitive to tobramycin, cefotaxime the rest i took already. NOW it IS PSEUDOMONAS, sensitive to ceftazidinc 30 ug 18mm, also sensitive to amikacin 30ez 15 mm, and piperacillin 100ug 15 mm, but only.resistant sa sulfamethioxazole, chlorophenicol, amoxicillin etc. And my papsmear LEUKOCYTES +4, I REPEAT AGAIN THE PAPSMEAR AFTER THIS INFECTION. INFLAMMATORY REACTION SEVERE. I NEED ALSO SUPPOSITORY BUT I NEED TO HAVE MY VAGINA SENSITIVITY TEST B4 I TAKE AGAIN AND AGAIN. ALL THE MEDICINE I TOOK A LOT FROM 2003 UNTIL NOW. IAM NOT HEALEd YET BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS NOT MEDICATING YET. HE FELT NORMAL, NO SICKNESS.
WHAT CAN I DO TO THIS MATTER? I GET HEALED, BUT WHEN I GOT SEX AGAIN WITH HIM, AGAIN PASS THE MICROBIO. PLS. ADVICE ME ANY INFORMATION EVEN IN MY CELL PLS.
THANK YOU ,
SANDRA
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Answer:
Hi Sandra.
It sounds like you've been having a difficult time these past few years. From what you wrote, I would say that your doctors are following the proper procedure in dealing with your recurrent urinary tract/genital infections. Since you've probably been taking many antibiotics from 2003 until now, sensitivity testing is crucial in order to pinpoint the appropriate antibiotics. Unfortunately, repeated use of antibiotics guarantees that you have developed resistance to many of them. If you continue having recurrent infections, you will someday run out of sensitive antibiotics. Ceftazidime, amikacin, and piperacillin are available only in intravenous form; there are no tablet forms. My advice is to have yourself treated until the infection is completely eradicated using any of these antibiotics.
Once you are infection-free, it is up to you to avoid contracting further infections. If you think the source is sexual contact with your husband, then at least use a condom and insist that he have himself tested and treated as well. Remind him that untreated genital infections can have long-term complications, such as damage to genital structures, which in turn can cause impotence and sterility.
As for your ecg reading, what you wrote does not give me any concrete information on what the problem is with your heart. That, plus your mention of a lung infection, makes me think that you should really be in a hospital for a few days, to treat the infections and to do further tests on your heart. I hope that you are able to find the financial resources to do all this.
Thank you for your question and good luck to you.
Priscilla D. Sanchez, M.D.
Medical Coordinator
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on this topic by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Medical Care:
Ang Pagtatalik ba ang Dahilan ng Infection na Ito?
Question: Sandra, (Manila) April 8, 2009
This is Sandra. I have pseudomonas in my urine 1 month ago; i need to do again my sensitivity test but i dont have money to support. My lung is in infection, the doctor said, also my e.c.g. is abnormal (with) primary t-wave abnormality, abnormal qrs-t angle. Considering primary t wave abnormality, I got pain in my chest sometimes (when it) appears.
Before I have CITROBACTER 105,000 CFU/ML sensitive to tobramycin, cefotaxime the rest i took already. NOW it IS PSEUDOMONAS, sensitive to ceftazidinc 30 ug 18mm, also sensitive to amikacin 30ez 15 mm, and piperacillin 100ug 15 mm, but only.resistant sa sulfamethioxazole, chlorophenicol, amoxicillin etc. And my papsmear LEUKOCYTES +4, I REPEAT AGAIN THE PAPSMEAR AFTER THIS INFECTION. INFLAMMATORY REACTION SEVERE. I NEED ALSO SUPPOSITORY BUT I NEED TO HAVE MY VAGINA SENSITIVITY TEST B4 I TAKE AGAIN AND AGAIN. ALL THE MEDICINE I TOOK A LOT FROM 2003 UNTIL NOW. IAM NOT HEALEd YET BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS NOT MEDICATING YET. HE FELT NORMAL, NO SICKNESS.
WHAT CAN I DO TO THIS MATTER? I GET HEALED, BUT WHEN I GOT SEX AGAIN WITH HIM, AGAIN PASS THE MICROBIO. PLS. ADVICE ME ANY INFORMATION EVEN IN MY CELL PLS.
THANK YOU ,
SANDRA
-------------------
Answer:
Hi Sandra.
It sounds like you've been having a difficult time these past few years. From what you wrote, I would say that your doctors are following the proper procedure in dealing with your recurrent urinary tract/genital infections. Since you've probably been taking many antibiotics from 2003 until now, sensitivity testing is crucial in order to pinpoint the appropriate antibiotics. Unfortunately, repeated use of antibiotics guarantees that you have developed resistance to many of them. If you continue having recurrent infections, you will someday run out of sensitive antibiotics. Ceftazidime, amikacin, and piperacillin are available only in intravenous form; there are no tablet forms. My advice is to have yourself treated until the infection is completely eradicated using any of these antibiotics.
Once you are infection-free, it is up to you to avoid contracting further infections. If you think the source is sexual contact with your husband, then at least use a condom and insist that he have himself tested and treated as well. Remind him that untreated genital infections can have long-term complications, such as damage to genital structures, which in turn can cause impotence and sterility.
As for your ecg reading, what you wrote does not give me any concrete information on what the problem is with your heart. That, plus your mention of a lung infection, makes me think that you should really be in a hospital for a few days, to treat the infections and to do further tests on your heart. I hope that you are able to find the financial resources to do all this.
Thank you for your question and good luck to you.
Priscilla D. Sanchez, M.D.
Medical Coordinator
OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on this topic by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Joint Pains
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Medical Care:
Namamanhid at mahina ang left and right foot
Question: Rose (South Korea) April 7, 2009
Sabi ng dok dito may sakit daw ako sa disk, which sa leeg daw ang mga sypmtoms ko ay namamanhid. Mahina ang left and right foot and sometimes pagnakabuhat ako mahinang mahina ang kaya at di makawork ng maayos. It's been 8 yrs ng dala ko 'to, wala dami ng gamot pero wala parin gamot, di ko na alam ang gagawin dami ko na opportunity nasasayang kasi di makawork ng maayos.
Gusto ko umuwi, kaso wala rin pera kasi sa mga gastos ko sa padoktor ng padoktor dito. Ubos na ang pera ko. Lagi naman ako inom ng inom ng gamot, wala paring nangyayari. Natatakot ako kasi pagnakabuhat ako ng kht isang kilo lang, hinanghina na ko. Bale nakuha ko to ng magbuhat ako ng sobrang bigat ng mga bato bato almost mga 15kilos, pero maliit lang ako na babae. Biglang maysumakit sa batok ko at nagpacheck up ako dito. Sa dami ng hospital na napasukan ko, wala na talagang pera. Ang sabi may disk ako sa leeg, ang mga symptoms ay mahina ang right at left foot ko everyday, since 8 years ago. Ang mga kamay ko minsan walang lakas, di ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Masakit ang likod sobra, at bawat joint ko may tunog parang naguumpugang buto. Pagtinaas ko ang kamay ko may tunog lahat, patalikod o pataas lakas ng tunog
----------------------
Answer:
Hello Rose,
Maraming pwedeng sanhi ng mga sinasabi mo sa amin. Pero sa pagka-describe mo na nagsimula ito sa pagbuhat mo ng mabigat na bagay, parang nagkaroon ka ng slipped disk sa carvical vertebrae mo sa leeg. Kung ito ang dahilan, naiipit ang nerve mo or spinal cord mo sa leeg kaya wala kang lakas sa kamay at paa. Siguro sa tagal na ng problema mo, na-x-ray na or CT-scan na ang vertebrae mo. At kung ito talaga ang dahilan, walang gamot ang makakagaling niyan. Ang makakapagayos niyan ay physical therapy, rehab, or even surgery sa mga malalang kondisyon.
Salamat sa iyong tanong,
Ramon I. Diaz
Medical Coordinator
For service@OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on this topic by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
Medical Care:
Namamanhid at mahina ang left and right foot
Question: Rose (South Korea) April 7, 2009
Sabi ng dok dito may sakit daw ako sa disk, which sa leeg daw ang mga sypmtoms ko ay namamanhid. Mahina ang left and right foot and sometimes pagnakabuhat ako mahinang mahina ang kaya at di makawork ng maayos. It's been 8 yrs ng dala ko 'to, wala dami ng gamot pero wala parin gamot, di ko na alam ang gagawin dami ko na opportunity nasasayang kasi di makawork ng maayos.
Gusto ko umuwi, kaso wala rin pera kasi sa mga gastos ko sa padoktor ng padoktor dito. Ubos na ang pera ko. Lagi naman ako inom ng inom ng gamot, wala paring nangyayari. Natatakot ako kasi pagnakabuhat ako ng kht isang kilo lang, hinanghina na ko. Bale nakuha ko to ng magbuhat ako ng sobrang bigat ng mga bato bato almost mga 15kilos, pero maliit lang ako na babae. Biglang maysumakit sa batok ko at nagpacheck up ako dito. Sa dami ng hospital na napasukan ko, wala na talagang pera. Ang sabi may disk ako sa leeg, ang mga symptoms ay mahina ang right at left foot ko everyday, since 8 years ago. Ang mga kamay ko minsan walang lakas, di ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Masakit ang likod sobra, at bawat joint ko may tunog parang naguumpugang buto. Pagtinaas ko ang kamay ko may tunog lahat, patalikod o pataas lakas ng tunog
----------------------
Answer:
Hello Rose,
Maraming pwedeng sanhi ng mga sinasabi mo sa amin. Pero sa pagka-describe mo na nagsimula ito sa pagbuhat mo ng mabigat na bagay, parang nagkaroon ka ng slipped disk sa carvical vertebrae mo sa leeg. Kung ito ang dahilan, naiipit ang nerve mo or spinal cord mo sa leeg kaya wala kang lakas sa kamay at paa. Siguro sa tagal na ng problema mo, na-x-ray na or CT-scan na ang vertebrae mo. At kung ito talaga ang dahilan, walang gamot ang makakagaling niyan. Ang makakapagayos niyan ay physical therapy, rehab, or even surgery sa mga malalang kondisyon.
Salamat sa iyong tanong,
Ramon I. Diaz
Medical Coordinator
For service@OFWParaSaPamilya.com
--------------------
Submit your thoughts and questions on this topic by simply clicking on the word "comments" just below. Ask questions. Click on Magtanong sa Doktor or Magtanong sa Psychologist. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Stay in touch!
Click here to set an appointment with a psychologist/doctor in the Philippines using our website.
Click to return to website: www.ofwparasapamilya.com
---------------------
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